BEB: Waves
Waves
I
S W A S H
It begins with a hush.
Soft lips brushing against skin
Trembling with the potential of simply
Sweeping over my every atom, soaking
Me in tumbling auburn waves
And endless horizon eyes.
I am scattered in the wind.
A billion particles of what was
Marble, monumental, magnificent, once.
But today, I am remnants. Today I sit to
Tell myself that I am consumed
And that this is love.
C R E S T
I am drenched
In affection. His hands
Mold my heart. His words,
Softening, turn me into his
Make-play-break
Sand castle.
T R O U G H
Say it’s love. Say it’s love. Say it’s love.
Feel hunger, fingertip to skin
Feel tearing within.
Crash on my shores.
Hear him say “I love you”,
Let it seep in, swallow even my depths.
B R E A K
Every
Time, I believe
That somehow this is
New, that somewhere he is
True, that I didn’t escape the trenches
To, a thousand miles and seven seas away,
Once again,
Find you.
W A V E S
II
BA C K W A S H
It begins with a loss.
Rapid denials of lips, embraces;
Instant island of despair. Sucked dry.
His locks are tsunamic undulations,
His eyes are more distant than
The furthest horizon.
I am the addict, I beg
For a fix; thought it was love
Yet I’m not drenched, I am drained,
Emptied, consumed, depleted, dead.
It’s not his tides at fault. I am
Sand. Insufficient.
C R E S T
I lament.
Why am I never
Good enough; why can they
Not stay? I can only be habit,
Just convenience.
Not choice.
T R O U G H
It’s never love. It’s never love. It’s never love.
I am here to be taken, owned
Broken in, then down.
I belong to his hands.
He steals until I have nothing
To give. I am naught, and yet, I am less.
B R E A K
They
Say to me
That trauma is never
New, stayed with us as we all
Grew, so that although I already bid
Adieu, under changed skins, hair, eyes, hearts,
Every lover is
Always you.
W A V E S
III
O R B I T
When you begin to erode,
It cannot end until you have ended.
It’s been decades since I was marble.
It’s been centuries since I was monumental.
It’s been eons since I was magnificent.
Every part of me torn into molecules
That have forgotten how to belong together;
Falling apart; blown further away.
I am seeking to unite grains of sand,
I am straining to remember who I am,
I am struggling to find a path
That doesn’t lead to where you are.
Yet we are a circle, you and I;
You haunt every earth and every sky.
I have traveled over land and sea
And through it all you come back to me.
Twist my arms quickly behind my back,
So softly that it’s almost not an attack.
Tie me up so that it’s far too late
For me to try and change my fate.
You are agony, but over and above,
You made me think that cruelty is love.
I am stuck in this cycle, unable to escape,
Finding you in every size and shape.
When you begin to love
It only ends when it ends you.
IV
L O V E
She was born from the foam of the primordial sea,
Immortalized in stone, a muse for eternity.
They broke her down until Venus was anon,
Just sand for gladiators to fall upon.
Love was screaming, begging for mercy.
Love was murdered and all we see,
All we feel now, on time’s infinite coast
Is Love’s broken, nameless ghost.